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Joanna Suvarna
  • About Me
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    • Employability and Personal Development
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Is Lukewarm No Good?

5/17/2020

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Blog first published as a guest blog on Medium by Perry Timms on May 14th 2020: ​https://medium.com/@PerryTimms/takeover-f9c504b7004e
​If you’re anything like me, when you go to work, you do so with the very best intentions: you want to work for a caring organisation, in a role that will enable you to live out your purpose, make a difference, make some money and allow you to leverage your strengths in order to help people and/or help the organisation to achieve greater success.
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Performing a role with passion, dedication, energy and a bit of sparkle is paramount. Passionate people just can’t do things in half measures. We set ourselves high standards and always give 100% to everything we do. In other words 
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​It is an ethos that I live by.
 
On the face of it, you would think that individuals with such passion and high standards are the type of employees that every organisation wants and that every manager would love to have on their team. However, counterintuitively, this is not necessarily always the case. In some organisations and teams it actually doesn’t pay to be fully engaged, enthusiastic and passionate. Individuals who give 100% and stand out in some way are often met with suspicion, envy and disquiet, triggering behaviours such as undermining, bullying and even sabotage, sometimes by peers and sometimes by leaders themselves.
But how can we make sense of that?
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Research has been undertaken which demonstrates that being a high performer can actually come with heavy social costs and that it can make the individual’s colleagues resent them and even actively undermine or sabotage their work. Gino (2017) says that: 
“Decades of research on social comparisons show that when we size ourselves up relative to people who are better than we are (or as good as we are) on a particular dimension, we are likely to experience discomfort, envy, or fear. These emotions, in turn, affect our decisions and our interactions with others.” [1]
​I’ve recently been taking a ‘Science of Wellbeing’ online course with Yale University and the idea of drawing social comparisons is something that is discussed by the instructor, Laurie Santos. She asserts that our minds will automatically make judgements about others, using things that we deem to be important as reference points, for example performance levels or salary. The comparisons that we draw can make us feel that another individual is more successful than we are in some way and that might lead us to treat someone unfairly/unkindly simply due to our own perceptions or our fragile ego. [2]

The Tall Poppy

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​A term that I’ve only recently come across is ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ [3] and, even though the term is new to me, I have definitely seen the scenario played out within organisations during my 30 year career. Essentially, ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ asserts that someone who stands out from the crowd, or is deemed to be above average in some way in the workplace (perhaps having higher qualifications, more experience, higher performance levels, or perceived by others as having experienced more success) may be targeted and intentionally ‘cut down to size’ - the analogy being that the tall poppy needs to be brought down to the same height as the other poppies in the field.

The high achiever (tall poppy) invariably doesn’t personally feel, or behave in a way to suggest, that they are better than anyone else and just carries out their role to the best of their ability. Envy that is displayed by others towards this type of individual is based purely on judgements, comparisons, perceptions and insecurities, it has nothing at all to do with the actions of the person that is being targeted and everything to do with the way that the envious individual, or group, feels about themselves.

Exacerbating the situation, tall poppies may be given opportunities to take part in high profile activities outside of their immediate role, simply because they are so passionate – something that only adds fuel to the fire, or in this case, vigour to the cutting!

Individuals may feel threatened by what they perceive as ‘success’ and so may feel the need to cut the ‘tall poppy’ down to size so that they feel better about themselves, or so that they are closer to the same level, becoming what’s known as a ‘poppy cutter’. A way that this ‘cutting down’ may be put into action might be by subtly beginning to undermine the good work that the high achiever is doing, making comments to others with malicious intentions, saying one thing to the individual and then a completely different thing to others and creating doubt amongst others, intentionally sabotaging work and character.
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It sounds pretty unbelievable, that someone’s jealousy can lead them to behave in such a seemingly calculated way, doesn’t it? However, I’m sure that many of you have either seen this in action, or experienced this type of behaviour with you as the target – it is a very real problem that can poison teams and, if not addressed quickly, can have a knock on impact on entire workplaces. 

Sowing the Seeds (Isn’t it supposed to be seeds of love?

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At a very simplistic level, if one person were to sow the seed of “He thinks he’s better than everyone else.”, or “ He said X, Y and Z”, this might then grow to become a strongly held perception within the group, even if there is absolutely no truth to the assertion or the rumour. The ease in which others might accept the information that has been introduced can be somewhat explained by the concepts of ‘Groupthink’ [4] and ‘Conformity Bias’ [5]. Both concepts rationalise how individuals may prioritise a sense of belonging within the group over anything else and, as a result, team members may go along with what other people have said just so that they can fit in and not become excluded themselves. Much like the situation in the school playground where children might join the side of the bully so that they aren’t so likely to be in danger of becoming a victim themselves.

Both ‘Groupthink’ and ‘Conformity Bias’ can be hugely problematic in this type of workplace scenario because judgements are invariably not actually based on fact and may be driven purely by the initial roots of envy of one person, or group of people, wanting to cut an individual down to size. What may begin as initial pangs of envy can go on to really damage an individual’s reputation, relationships and their well-being.
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If leaders are the initiator, or also part of the wider group, the workplace situation can become impossible and it can lead to unfair judgements being made in a variety of areas, for example: at appraisals or reviews; when distributing workloads; when choosing to give or withhold support; when choosing to give or withhold praise; being overly critical of the individual’s work; giving negative feedback that is subjective or not based on fact; excluding the individual from decision-making in day-to-day matters that impact them; allocating heavy workloads and setting the individual up to fail. There are of course so many more ways that both leaders and other employees can create an impossibly toxic environment for individuals if they are that way inclined, the net result of such behaviour being that it can leave the individual feeling isolated, unsupported, stressed and at risk of becoming severely burnt out.

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​ Impact: The Ripple Effect

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​The types of negative behaviours that I’ve identified can have an impact on so many areas within an organisation. What might start as a tiny drop can go on to have a ripple effect that can spread quickly and even become normalised to an extent within teams and within the organisation as a whole. This can go on to have so many negative potential impacts, for example: higher sickness levels; lower performance and productivity; creation of a toxic organisational culture; and ultimately, can make your employees walk right out the door, taking their experience and tacit knowledge with them.
 
Short to medium term implications:
If an employee does choose to leave the organisation, this will, in the short to medium term, impact operations, may adversely affect your organisation’s turnover, potentially have an impact on your customers and an impact on your overall organisational performance.
 
Longer term implications:
In the longer term, there could be a lasting impact on the way the organisation is perceived by current employees, potential future employees, customers, potential customers, stakeholders and wider society. There is also, of course, the potential for more widespread negative impacts from the employee who has left the organisation, for example, negative word of mouth, social media posts, negative reviews on sites such as Glassdoor and at the most extreme end of the scale, employment tribunals.
 
There is never a win in these circumstances, in every case the organisation will have lost. They will have lost one of their employees, which has a big impact whether the individual was a high achiever or not, and if the issues surrounding the behaviours aren’t addressed, the organisation will also continue to lose because the pattern will likely just continue repeating itself in the future, leading to further culture damage and more resignations.
 
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​Narratives are, of course, often changed by the people who remain in the organisation, with further ‘groupthink’ taking place and the employee who chose to resign often being portrayed as the villain, both internally and externally. This may allow the organisation to save face temporarily, however, it does nothing to address the issues within the organisation, which may continue to have negative and far-reaching impacts.
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To an extent, many of us may have been conditioned to accept that this type of scenario is an inevitable part of, not only working life, but life in general. You might merely put poor behaviours down to ‘human nature’, ‘survival of the fittest’, or ‘a competitive environment’. When negative workplace situations such as this continue without being addressed, beliefs and behaviours can become more entrenched – if behaviours are targeted towards a particular individual and it drives them to take the decision to leave an organisation, such behaviours really need to be called out for exactly what they are: bullying. 

Work-Related Bullying

​Bullying can have a widespread impact within the workplace - it can spoil relationships, ruin careers, have a negative impact on an individual’s well-being and, quite simply, it isn’t kind and is bad for business, both morally and financially.
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Words matter.

Not only the words that we say to ourselves and to others, but also the terminologies surrounding the topic of work-related bullying.

We tend to make an assumption that ‘bullying’ and ‘bullies’ are terms that relate solely to inherently unkind people and unkind organisations and that the ‘bullied’ are weak. We might also assume that those unkind people or unkind organisations intentionally attempt to cause harm in some way, but this is something that I don’t think is always the case. In my experience, people who display unkind and bullying behaviours in workplaces are often nice enough people generally, but due to their own egos, lack of awareness, naivety, ‘groupthink’, ‘conformity bias’, insecurity, jealousy or lack of thought, they can sometimes make poor choices, either individually or as part of a group. This is something which is echoed by Gilligan White (2019), who asserts that: “good people can act poorly when influenced by those in power and by their need to survive and belong”. [6]

Work-related bullying is a topic that is so important yet is very often a taboo subject in organisations, as though if we just don’t talk about it, it isn’t there. Because of this approach, issues that arise within workplaces may just be ignored, or as CIPD term it in their 2020 research report: “Swept under the carpet”. [7]

Organisations are legally required to have policies and processes in place to safeguard individuals, but how often do you actually hear anyone talking openly about the topic and making sure that they signpost their employees as to what can be done if they are to experience or observe any such issues?
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This lack of exposure can perhaps be explained by the fact that the terminology surrounding the topic has such negative connotations. No organisation wants to admit that bullying might be taking place amongst their employees and, similarly, individuals may perhaps also be reluctant to admit that, as an adult, they have become a victim.

Mitigating Risk

​It all sounds a bit doom and gloom, doesn’t it? But there is some positive action that organisations can take now to mitigate the risk and ensure that individuals are not targeted.

In my opinion, it absolutely must start at the top. Mission and value statements invariably assert buzzwords such as, ‘Transparency’, ‘Honesty’, ‘Integrity’, ‘Fairness’ etc. Unfortunately, all too often these are just aspirational as opposed to being embedded throughout the organisation. If you are a senior leader, I would encourage you to ask yourself the following questions:
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  • Am I actually role-modelling the core values to my team?
  • What am I doing to ensure that the rest of the leadership team is living and breathing the values every day?
  • How are we ensuring that our values are disseminated and embedded throughout the organisation at all levels?
  • What does data from exit interviews, employee surveys and reviews tell us? Are there any themes emerging?
  • How are we ensuring that individuals are behaving ethically and that they are held accountable?
  • How are we ensuring that the workplace is psychologically safe for all employees?
 
I wholeheartedly believe that if you are a leader in an organisation, issues of bullying, harassment and sabotage lie squarely with you. It is your responsibility to set the tone that becomes the organisational culture, ensuring that there is a zero-tolerance approach and that all other leaders and employees are held accountable for their actions, regardless of their job role or level. The time for action is now.
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Things that I would urge leaders to do right now:
 
  • Sign up to join the BulliesOut ‘Speak Out’ campaign – commit your organisation to working towards promoting an anti-bullying and respectful ethos and show your employees that you are serious about ensuring they have a safe and fair environment in which to work.
 
You can find out more and sign up for the campaign FREE of charge at the following link: https://bulliesout.com/get-involved/speak-out-campaign/
 
  • Review your policies and processes – make sure that your organisation has a zero tolerance policy, clearly signposted support and reporting procedures.
 
  • Communicate – engage employees in development sessions around the topic of what constitutes bullying and what they should do if they encounter it, whether as a victim or a bystander.
 
 
  • Behavioural change – consider ways in which you might drive the behavioural changes that are needed in the organisation, for example, making 360 feedback part of goals and objectives for leaders, giving every employee the confidence that the organisation’s culture is one of honesty and transparency without fear of retribution.
 
  • Accountability - giving clear accountability and asking leaders to demonstrate how they have addressed any issues that have been raised and if no issues have been raised, how they have reiterated the importance of the core values and the zero-tolerance culture.
 
 
  • Leadership development -  look at your leadership development plans and ensure that leaders at all levels are developed in order to be able to support their own teams effectively, giving them the skills to get the best out of their team members and ensure that the team works as one as opposed to working as individuals who are in competition with each other.  

My advice to everyone who has taken the time to read this post:

​Look at yourself first. It starts with you. It starts with me. It starts with all of us.
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I don’t think that any one of us could say, absolutely hand on heart, that we have never played a part in unkind behaviours at some time in our working lives, even if it is something like taking part in gossip, or being a bystander who watches others’ poor behaviour without intervening in some way. We must look at, and be honest with, ourselves first. Ask yourself:
  • Is my jealousy making me behave in a way which is unkind?
  • Am I role-modelling kindness and fairness at work?
  • Do I take action if I see something that is unkind or unethical?


Creating better workplaces takes commitment from every single one of us and the time to make that commitment is now. There has never been a better time.
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Don’t just pay lip service to the hashtag of #BeKind, take some positive action to ensure that you are making a difference every day and that you are standing up and speaking out against bullying behaviours.

My advice to the people who feel envy towards high achievers/tall poppies/others’ success:

​I would urge you to remember that everyone plays an important part in a team, understand that and let your strengths combine with the strengths of others, don’t think in terms of competition and comparison, let your focus be on collaboration and celebration – this will lead to the continuous collective win for the team and for the organisation.
Please also remember that being a high achiever comes with hard work, focus and dedication – it is not something that comes without a price. The people that you may be envious of also have disappointments, challenges in life and feelings – rise above your envy and, above all else, be a kind human being. 

My advice to anyone who has been, or is currently being, affected by work-based bullying:

There is help out there, you are not alone.

Please get some advice or speak to someone, you do not have to put up with people treating you unfairly or unkindly at work.

You can find expert guidance at the following links:

https://bulliesout.com/need-support/employees/

https://www.acas.org.uk/if-youre-treated-unfairly-at-work/being-bullied

https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment

https://www.cipd.co.uk/knowledge/fundamentals/emp-law/harassment/factsheet#15763

https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/bullying-in-the-workplace/
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https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/employees.html
 

My advice to the high performers/tall poppies who are reading this:

I appreciate you. Please don’t ever feel that you have to drop your standards.

Keep being authentic, kind, passionate, a high achiever and true to yourself.

I hope that you are already working in an organisation that celebrates you and allows you to be yourself. If you’re not, I hope that  you find the place that will do so, where people will support you, appreciate your passion, celebrate your achievements and also set themselves high standards, prioritising team wins over individual performance and competition. When you find that place and you are surrounded by those people, you will be able to grow, flourish and reach your full potential, exceeding targets and helping the team and the organisation achieve amazing results. There are so many organisations that will welcome and appreciate you.

Keep your face turned to the sun and remain a ‘tall poppy’, don’t ever let others bully you into becoming less than you are.
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One of my favourite inspirational talks, from the fabulous Lisa Nichols, applies to you. Let your light shine brightly and don’t ever dim your light to please someone else – you are special, you are unique and you deserve to be celebrated for the amazing person that you are, in all your dazzling glory.
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Danny's Experience Design Extravaganza

5/12/2020

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First Posted on LinkedIn on 30th April 2020.
A few weeks ago Danny Seals, who has been part of my Personal Learning Network (PLN) for a few years, started what I term an ‘Experience Design Extravaganza’. He put a post out on LinkedIn, asking for volunteers to take part in an unknown experience challenge. Anyone who was up for doing something a little different had to get in touch with Danny and then follow the steps that he had set out in order to ‘crack the code’.
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I’m always up for a bit of a challenge and love trying new things, so I was intrigued enough to follow the steps that Danny had set out and, to my delight, a couple of days later he got in touch to say that I had been successful and that my ‘experience’ would arrive within the next week. Eek!

A mixture of excitement, anticipation and nervousness ensued! What had I let myself in for?! ......I had no inkling as to what my ‘experience’ might be and I just needed to wait to find out.


A few days later, to my relief, other professionals started posting:
1) Photographs of the outside of the parcel which contained their experience.
2) Videos of themselves carrying out the experience.


Phew! So by that point I at least had some idea of what I might be doing: I knew that I would be creating something, but I didn't know what. I waited patiently for my parcel to arrive......... then I waited some more! I received a message from Danny to say that my parcel was delayed and would be with me hopefully the next day - more time to see others' videos and, hopefully, get more of a clue as to what my 'experience' could be.......

When my parcel arrived, I quickly took a photograph and posted it on LinkedIn, along with the hashtags, as instructed by Danny:
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As my parcel had been delayed, I didn't have much time and got straight to the task of undertaking the experience. (You may well have seen the video with my questionable attempt at painting a mug! If not, you can see it: Here ). There were also four other people who took part in the challenge and you can find their videos at the end of this article, along with others.

A few things that I learnt from the experience:
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  1. I'm not the best at art! (Particularly not when I'm under time pressure, just giving it a go, and don't have any time to plan in advance).
  2. The initial 'not knowing' part of the experience made me a little nervous, I felt much better when I knew what sort of thing I might be doing.
  3. There is so much learning that you can take away from even the smallest experience - a point I'll return to a little later.


Following my mug painting experience, Danny gave me the choice to either destroy the item that I had lovingly taken two minutes to paint, or to pay it forward by sharing more smiles and giving experiences to other people. I decided to pay it forward and provide experiences to four of my connections, each of whom was also up for a bit of a surprise challenge.
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In the meantime, over the past couple of weeks, I have seen more videos posted here on LinkedIn, each with experiences that have been paid forward, all from the tiny beginnings of Danny's lovely initial idea. The videos have made me laugh, have always brightened my day and they definitely had the intention that Danny set out: 'Sharing Smiles'. It's been a really lovely experience to be a part of.

I decided that for the experience that I was going to pay forward, I was going to do something a little different.
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Each of the experiences previously had been where somebody needed to create something and I knew that if I did exactly the same thing, the 'experience' just wouldn't have had the same impact that it had for the first groups of individuals. My lovely volunteers would have perhaps enjoyed making something, but now that they had seen lots of different things being made, I thought perhaps the experience might not 'feel' so exciting, or share so many smiles.

I remembered ordering a 'Boomf Bomb' for my husband's 40th birthday and I also remembered how delighted he'd been at the surprise element, and how much he'd liked the finished product - not that many years on (he made me put the 'not that many' bit in!) , he still has it on display at home. I decided to make something along those lines for my lovely volunteers, making it personal to them and incorporating some key experience design considerations around the outside of the box itself. You can see the results by watching the videos at the following links:
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  • Helen Macleod: Here
  • Jo Byrne: Here
  • Asli Derya: Here
  • Arash Rezaei-Mazinani: Here​

I loved watching each and every one of them and have even been brought to tears with laughter! :)
Massive thanks to Helen, Jo, Asli and Arash for being such great sports - they will, hopefully, all remember this experience always (even if only because they nearly fell off their chair, had extra cleaning to do, had a strange and confusing coincidental experience, or had to creatively edit a video!!!)
Along with bringing smiles and fun, Danny's whole 'Design Experience Extravaganza' has got me to thinking about.....errrm....experiences!
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​I've been in the L&D/teaching/training profession for a long time now and have worked in a wide variety of settings in both the UK and South Korea: College, University, Community Learning, Workplace Learning, Apprenticeships, Private Training Providers, Private Language Schools, English Immersion Village and Primary and Secondary Schools. I've also worked with a variety of different ages of learners: the youngest being around 4 years old and the oldest being around 74. Whether teaching on a one-to-one basis, in a small group, or a large group, I have always had one question at the very front of my mind:
'What is going to make this experience useful and memorable [whilst achieving outcome X]?'
Along with having designed experiences myself for many years in different settings, Danny's challenge also got me to thinking about how fortunate I've been to have had the pleasure of working with, and to have been able to attend learning sessions led by, some incredibly passionate, creative and engaging professionals. Some of the experiences have had a lasting impression and have definitely helped me to develop my own professional practice.

A few of the people and development experiences that I will remember forever (and why):

  • Mr Morse, a teacher in my primary school. I remember him as kind, caring and encouraging. He was able to identify where children had talent and bring the best out in them.

  • Brian Evans - the trainer who developed my knowledge and skills when I worked in Royal Mail. He was the first trainer I'd experienced outside of academia and I will never forget how he used humour and personality to engage with participants, managing to keep our attention for weeks on end in intensive leadership development workshops - no easy task! A great showman, a kind person, an amazing knack for bringing humour to sessions and so very knowledgeable.

  • Attending 'Marketing' lectures led by Henry Enos when I studied towards my degree in Human Resource Management. Even though it was around 20 years ago, I can remember it as though it was yesterday! He brought such energy, passion and humour into every lecture, making it one of the very few lectures that most of us actually regularly attended!

  • Working alongside incredible professionals in South Korea when I was employed as part of the start-up team for the very first English Immersion Village in the country:

  1. I will never forget the dazzle of Sara Davila, the warm-up activities that she led in the music classes were outstanding and even now, 15 years on, I remember every single part of the warm-up song that she taught us and that we then went on to use to engage the children.
  2. Shannon Wong-Lerner and Edward Zrudlo - I will never forget the passion, humour and energy that they put into absolutely every session to ensure that our learners were having an incredible time.
  3. Geoffrey Jordan - an incredible "Edutainer". Geoff kept the children engaged, interested and gave them the courage to try out new concepts, make mistakes, learn and then try again.

  • Nathan Casey - we studied for our PGCE together at University and his micro-sessions and resources were always so engaging and fun, he really made me think outside the box.

  • Giorgia Gamba and Michelle Parry-Slater - working alongside both during scoping of V2.0 of the CIPD Level 5 qualification in Learning and Development. It was wonderful to bounce off each other's ideas and to feel so much energy in our meetings, where each of us was so very passionate about making the best experience possible for professionals who were studying.

  • Graham Leverton - an Instructional Design Guru! He came up with such creative ways in which to bring our visions of the V2.0 online learning programme to life, bursting with such amazing ideas as to potential activities in which concepts could really dazzle. Working with him was a fabulous experience.


I think I'd better stop there, or the list will become a 300 page roll call of people I've loved working with! Suffice to say, there are of course many more individuals and experiences that have had an impact on me over the years, including experiences that have taught me how NOT to do things - I believe that every experience we have, whether good or bad, brings us the opportunity to develop as professionals.

I said I'd return to this: there is always a learning point that can be taken away, even from the smallest of learning experiences. From the individuals and experiences that I have identified above, it seems that for me, factors that can make an experience really memorable are:
  • Use of humour.
  • An individualised approach.
  • Energetic delivery/facilitation and a memorable style (can impact either positively or negatively).
  • Multi-modal delivery: using for example, different tools and technologies, different techniques, music, movement and voice etc.
  • Demonstrating a thorough knowledge of the topic.
  • Uniqueness - in some way the experience is different and stands out.
  • Allowing space for discovery, trial, error, collaboration and creativity.
  • Sharing a passion, whether that be for a topic or for creating amazing experiences for others.

What about you?

I'd encourage you to take a few minutes and think about your own memorable experiences and what they tell you about experience design. Our own experiences, both positive and negative, can help us so much when designing experiences for others.

You might find it useful to write things down, as I've done above, identifying people and experiences that have really had an impact on you. Remember to think about what happened before, during and after the experience and whether you feel that the different stages ensured individuals were set up for success, or to have a great experience. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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Huge thanks to Danny for starting this whole extravaganza and for making me think back on some of the incredible experiences I've had over the years, it's been a great journey! Huge thanks also to my lovely volunteers: Helen, Jo, Asli and Arash - you all did brilliantly and I hope that you have taken some positives away from the experience - I've certainly loved watching each of you in action!
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​If you have a little bit of time and/or you want to share some more smiles, here is a list of people who have been a part of Danny's intial and 'pay it forward' experiences and links to their videos (they are listed in the order that I found them on the hashtag #SharingSmiles):
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  • Julie Drybrough: Here
  • Christine Locher: Here
  • Ashley Sinclair: Here
  • Rhys Giles: Here
  • Kate Graham: Here
  • Hannah Davidson: Here
  • Nick Ramsay: Here
  • Eva Adam: Here
  • Josh Novelle: Here

I hope you've enjoyed the read and watching the different experiences, kudos to Danny for bringing so many smiles to so many people :)


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We Will Rise

5/12/2020

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First posted on Gary Cookson's website: https://epichr.co.uk/2020/04/12/nottheadventblogs-we-will-rise/ on April 12th 2020.
When I saw that Gary was looking for contributions for his #NotTheAdventBlogs, I thought that it would be a lovely opportunity to share my thoughts on a different platform – I hope you enjoy the read…
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I have spent the past couple of days considering what I might write and thinking about ways that I have personally risen during my adult life. I was intending to write something quite light-hearted, but in the current circumstances that would just be a façade, one which I’ve had to use as a veil so many times in the past to hide pain and/or vulnerability. I decided that for this post, in the current climate, I would remove the veil and talk about how I feel I have risen to overcome obstacles, and how we can all continue to rise, even though we are surrounded by so much uncertainty.
 
Many experiences in my adult life have required me to put my ‘game face’ on, to ‘get the job done’, ‘keep going’ and ‘perform’, even when my world has been crumbling around me. If you’d asked me at the time how I was doing, I would have given the automatic response that here in the UK we seem programmed to give: 
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​Some of the most challenging periods of my life: living in a violent relationship; a marriage which ended in divorce; lone-parenting my daughter from the age of 9 months through to the age of 8 years; the devastation of miscarrying a baby that I had so desperately wanted; deaths of people I loved dearly, have required me to dig deep to be able to find the strength to rise up from rock bottom and somehow keep moving forward.
 
I love the poem ‘Still I Rise’ by Maya Angelou, it really speaks to me and even though we are different women, from entirely different backgrounds, her words truly resonate:
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.”
 
Maya Angelou
You can read the entire poem at the following link: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46446/still-i-rise
 

​Even during those worst of times in my life, if you’d asked me how I was doing, the answer would still probably have been the automatic: “Fine, thanks.”.
 
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​But this strange time in the world feels somehow different, perhaps because collectively we are experiencing the challenges together. If you ask me now how I’m doing, you will likely get a much more honest response than ever before – I will no longer be hiding behind the veil of “Fine, thanks”. How I’m doing is just how so many others around the globe are doing: we are scared for ourselves, our families, our friends and our communities; we are doing our best to adjust to the new ‘normal’; we are trying to protect our loved ones from danger; we are more grateful than ever for even the smallest things in our lives and in our surroundings; we are taking each day at a time and trying not to get overwhelmed by the statistics, the upsetting news and the lack of control; we are connecting with our networks much more often to check not just how they are, but how they REALLY are (that’s not only me, is it?!). 
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​Something that is truly remarkable during this difficult period is the way that communities are coming together around the globe, showing kindness to each other, offering support and showing solidarity: together, but apart. It gives me hope that there will be a brighter future on the other side of this, that there will be change in the world as we know it and that ‘care’ and ‘kindness’ will be key values that drive our collective actions, both in organisations and in general.
 
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We can all have hope.

My hope for the future is that we will put our energies into lifting humanity up rather than tearing people down, that kindness will spread its wings and we can all soar.
I firmly believe that we, as individuals, rise by lifting others. It is the reason that I am so passionate about helping individuals develop their skills, encouraging them to believe in themselves and achieve what they set out to. At different points in our lives, we all need someone to rise and lift us up, to support us until we get to the point where we can discover our own brilliance, or strength - the brilliance, or strength, that was there all along, but perhaps hidden behind barriers, or veils.
 
In my adult life I have learnt the true importance of not only rising up for ourselves, but also the importance of rising up for others: being there to speak up for those whose voices cannot be heard; being there to support people who are being treated unjustly; ​being there to help members of our communities who need it; being there to raise issues when nobody else will; being the listening ear, the friend, the kindness; lifting those around us and building a domino effect community of hope.
 
I will rise for myself.
I will rise for you.
I will rise for us.
 
I think it’s apt to leave you with a song that, in my opinion, truly reflects this moment, ‘Rise Up’ by Andra Day. Take a few minutes to listen to the song and its beautiful lyrics, remember that we WILL see the other side of our current challenge and we will continue to rise up, for ourselves and for each other.
​“All we need is hope, and for that we have each other”.
 
Stay safe.
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